WTF?!

WHOA WHOA WHOA ... WHERE'D THE PICS GO? Damnit ... oh well. I'll try again. And if nothing .. then, blame this piece o shit pc. Apple is soo much better. I've done so much with that apple. So easy to use and quick too. Oh why oh why did that firm have to can me. I mean really? What did I do? ... nevermind, don't answer that, lol. I remember (he says as he drinks his rum and coke), lol.

Anyways, here's tempt Number two.






TAA DAA .. AND IT WORKS. WOO HOO!!!

I'M BACK ! ! ! !

my my my how time flies when life throws you curve ball after curve ball.

And with that said .... I'M BACK! WOO HOO!!!

And yes, there is no new element to the blog in that I just haven't had time to learn new shit. For one thing, to do so would require me to be on the internet as often as I once was. Sadly, this just isn't so.

But, here I am ... silly ol methodical, logical, irrational, selfish, ol me. Well, I'm not those things all the time ... just add the opposite of that you'll get the well rounded portion of me. Just depends what day.

ANYWAYS ... UPDATE.
1. Numerous jobs in a short period of time. Won't go into detail, but I will say this .. working for bitter, whiny old women (not being sexist, but she was a woman) is NOT the best way to go. A word of advice for her "DEAL WITH IT ... and move on."

2. Lost a family member. May he rest in peace. Once again won't go into detail. Let's just say that the poem "Death of an Innocent" holds more truth these days.

3. Working with the roommate at a restaurant. Good times, since he's a manager and usually works til close. Its a blast.

PS: I actually like the job. Bad pay, but I like it. Tells me what I need to know for the restuarant / lounge I WILL own one day. And oh yes, I will own it.

Thus far .. thats all I can think of. But if I continue to write more, I'm sure you'll learn more. Peace out all ... til next time .. enjoy these pics.

Want to Jump?

Sometimes you just want to jump. Sometime just peering over the edge and seeing the world below makes ya wanna spread your wings and fly. I want nothing but air around me. No more noise. No more pollution. No more strangers. Just lay my head in the clouds and sleep. I wanna feel the warmth of the shiny sun and I just lay back and breathe. I wanna take that daring leap, that risky leap that proves to be successful. I just wanna jump.

UPDATE

And the hunt continues. Which is kind of odd and suiting since I always feel like I'm on the hunt for something, even though have the time I don't know what it is I'm actually looking for. Meh, such is life for I.

So anyways, I did land a job awhile back. I was a cook for Boston Pizza .. for a day. Ah yes, the thrill of proportioning pasta and making sure that everything is perfect. Sure, would have been a job I liked, but I went and did something unexpectedly. I quit. The next day I was to work early in the morning (its early becuase I'm never up that early), and while half asleep, I called work and quit. lol Lets just say I do odd things and say odd things and say odd things while asleep. Add that motor skills ... I'm bound to do shit. So yeah, I quit while half asleep and remembered it as a dream. I awoke after that, hours later, and when I realised what time it was I remembered "the dream".

I've never gone back there since, lol.

Offly enough though, that same say I finally got a hold of a company I was trying to work for for many months now. They called, and arranged and interview. Had I been at work, I never would have got the call. So I guess it all worked out. Even though I'm still unemployed and broke at the moment, and rent is due.

I can go on and on about whats been happening, but lets just say that there is still no light at the end of the tunnel. But no worries, I'm still looking for it. For now, I'll just take baby steps in this tunnel with my one match for light.

Take care.

Turn the page ...

And suddenly its not so bright anymore. The sun shines in full force, raining is rays over the city; letting the civilians know that spring is here and summer is soon. And yet, I still feel the cold breeze of winter.

As buds blossom and the spring styles walk down the street, I still see a world of grey. I know that spring beauty is there. I just can't see it.

Instead I'm weighed heavily and more tired than usual.

The story has taken a sudden shift. And still, I turn the page.

Whats up?

So, what do you do when your roommate, boyfriend, and best friend, keep asking you "whats wrong"? Especially when you don't think that anything is wrong.

Apparently I'm acting differently these days. Personally, I don't see it, I really don't. But its there, and there for other people to see. And I'm thinking that those I'm close too are worried about it. But I still don't see what it is they're talking about. I really don't.

So anyways .. figured I'd post something. Just keep this blog thing going.

Adios for now

As many of my avid reader may have noticed, there has been no postings for a week. Exactly 7 days have gone by and nadda is coming out. Well, this may be the case for quite awhile.

On monday, I lost my job. And I have no prospects for another just yet, and I have no money saved up. (And you would think that the whole roommate fiasco awhile back would have taught me that lesson *rolls eyes*).

And so, excuse for me a bit as I venture on yet another new chapter of this crazy incessant rollercoaster ride I call life. I'll be back soon ... I hope.

Adios, for now.

Row - Day - Yo (Rodeo)

Oddly enough its reminiscent. Who knew the smell of horse menure would bring a sense of nostagia? But it does. As I stroll into the Rodeo, the first of the season, I'm bombarded with memories of home. I can see quite vividly the fair grounds of the annual stampede. I can smell the mouthwatering flavour of vendor hotdogs and mini donuts. I'm half expecting to run into someone I know I'm so drawn in memories.

I continue through the crowd of tight wrangler wearing cowboys looking for beer, for seeing these gorgeous men chug back their plastic cup of ale drives me thirsty. And as I zig and zag through the sea of manly men in search for ale, I'm continuously distracted by bulges and curves. How odd that I remember not cruising these men back home.


I approach the bar, order my drink and pay the tired woman behind the counter. I go and find my seat.

Since alone, I find a portion of the seating area with the least spectators. And there, I watch the rodeo. I see strapping young men mount their horses and partake in the western festivities; roping cattle, riding broncs, riding bareback, cattle steering, all the while dropping their cowboy hats along the way or getting thrown off the stallion. All very entertaining, all very welcoming.

I still find it odd that it all brings back a sense of nostalgia, especially considering that fact the I never actually watched a Rodeo back home. And yet, here I am, enjoying the company of many a stranger.

Another one FREE ...

Anyone remember Chris Kanyon? From WWE? NO. What about from WCW (that's no longer in existence)? No. What about from TNA (Total Nonstop Action, not that other thing that str8 boys giggle and gawk at)? Not ringing any bells? No worries, I too vaguely remember him. And I mean VERY VAGUELY remember him. But, had I known back in 1995, when Kanyon shone brightly in spotlight up until 2005, then it might have been a different story. Reason being, he's gay.

Thats right, a reknowned Wrestling superstar (up for debate if you ask me) has come out of the closet. Published on OutSports' website (www.outsports.com) is an exerpt of Kanyons first interview since coming out. That article was published on said website March 31, 2006.

Now, Kanyon's career as a wrestler is questionable to me ONLY for the fact that I've been out of the wrestling loop for a LONG TIME. But nevertheless, Kanyon has been known to associate with the likes of Diamond Dallas Page, Bam Bam Bigelow and wrestled against the likes of WWE superstar's "The Undertaker" and "Kane". Credibility no longer questioned.

Anyways, if I had known then what I know now aspect of this post. What would my life have been like if I had a gay wrestler to look up too? As a wrestling fan (not necessarily a fanatic, but a fan nonetheless) who happen to be gay, I don't think I was more isolated and more forced into the closet, than in any other sport. (although, hockey is right up there). And so with the news that a wrestler who has wrestled in the WWE, I can't help but wonder what it would have been like.

Either way, Kris Kanyon, congrats. I honestly mean that, to be able to come out of the closet while partaking in wrestling is very courageous and very honorable. Congrats. And if anyone gives you any crap for it, just suplex them.

Brief tidbits to keep your attention:

- TNA banned Kanyon from attending a PPV event (due to "technical legalities", according to TNA; must also be stated he was banned after coming out during a match with TNA)
- Kanyon played the stunt double for Oliver in Ready To Rumble which stared David Arquette and Sting



For more infor on Kanyon, you may visit his MSN MySpace at:
http://www.myspace.com/chriskanyon

Or check out Outsports.com [linked to the right]

Updated "Most Comments" via Flickr

not much to post (or posts are just to incoherent to publisb)

And so, here is an update on my flickr.com album. The following pics are the Top Most Commented as of today, April 5, 2006.

Does Anyone ....

Does anyone realise that at the first hour and three seconds passed the second minute (01 hr:02 min:03 sec), that the official date was

01:02:03 04/05/06


This won't happen again until the year 2106.

Wrestling Sunday

5 gay guys sitting around the tv watching sweaty beefy studs wrestling for a shiny belt. Thats how I spent my sunday, watching Wrestlemania 22 with buds. And wow, what entertainment that was.


What I like most about Wrestlemania is that its the staney cup of wrestling, the superbowl of wrestling entertainment. Hell, the roommate and I dished out 50 bucks to order it, so it had damn well be entertaining. And as muchly anticipated as it was .. WHOA! Thats all I can say, 'whoa'.

Shaun Micheals vs. Mr. McMahon; bring Shaun back to the bad ass days and implying a possible return of Degeneration X. Honestly, what the hell was happening to Shaun Micheals? WHO CARES? All I know is he WHOOPED Mr. McMahon's ass with that trash can. Pic to the left, thats Shaun Micheals dropping down a 14 ft ladder with McMahon in the garbage can laying on a table. Ouch, thats gotta hurt. This match wasn't about whose gonna win whatever belt that was up for grabs. No, this match was meant for McMahon to humiliate Micheals (as McMahon does with pretty much everyone else on the show). Unfortunately, McMahon's tactics have pushed Micheal's too far and thus resulting in punishment-inducing, needing-to-hurt-someone, I-don't-give-a-fug bad ass Micheal's that we all knew and loved yesteryear. Yes, the Shaun Micheals bad ass of the century is back. And Mr. McMahon, I know you got your ass handed to you on a silver platter, but thank you for giving up Shaun Micheals back. WOO HOO.

And who knew people actually liked that psycho beyotch Mickie.

The Chicago crowd was going fuggin nuts for her, cheering her ass on as she wrestled Trish Strata. (And yes, they actually wrestled with submission moves and acrobatics just like any other wrestler in WWE)

You know, I remember when they first introduced womans wrestling; it was nothing but catfights with slapping and pulling hair and throwing each other to the ground. *Yawn* If I wanted to see that I'd go back to high school. I'm so glad Trish pioneered womans wrestling to what it is today in WWE. Its just too bad she lost her Womans Champ title that night.

BUT OH MI GOD, the number one match to talk about; EDGE vs. Mick Foley. The HARDCORE MATCH. And hardcore it was. They took out all stops for this one. Two all star wrestlers duking it out in the ring where all is game. Even bodyslamming your opponent onto the ring thats full of nails. Or bringing out the bat covered in barbwire. And yes yes, lets not forget the sock (for those who don't know, you'll have to figure this one out). But the best moment in this match is the finishing move that proved victorious for Edge; spearing Mick Foley through a flaming table (yes, the table was on fire, talk about HOLY SH*T)


Now. the match I was waiting for, kind of a downer when you just realised what I was watching for the past 3.5 hours (yes, it was a 4 hour event). But my guy, John Cena, the only guy I was root for over and over again, regains his title. He ain't losing it that night. In what was the biggest surprise of the night, Triple H tapped out of a submission move almost instantly. Boo-Urns. I expected more, I honestly did. But the outcome is exactly what I had prayed for. But truth be told, I had half epected Cena to lose. Why? Well, for the main reason that he had been Champ for far too long now. He's held the title for MONTHS, its coming up about the time when one would normally lose the title; but he still has it. YAY!


All in all, 50 bucks well spent and great times spent with friends. Quite a few:
"Holy Sh*t!"
"How'd he do that?"
"What the Fug?"
and "WHOA," moments.

DAMN, can't wait for next year.

.. destiny ...

As JoeyDestino mentioned in his most recent post, "... your desinty will be fulfilled where ever you are."

*sigh*

Let's face it, that fact of not knowing what, who, where and when ... is very very frustrating. And all I can do is hope that its meant to be, and if not, then that it'll at least mean something.

April 16, 2006

And so .. here I am (whoa, wasn't that my first title of this blog?).

As mentioned, I lost my job. Woke up one day and BAM, it was gone. Whats worse, they (the firm) decided to keep my severance pay AND my vacation pay (I owe them money). I'm 24 years old and living paycheck to paycheck. So yeah, I didn't take that too well. And of course, it didn't help that day that the bank also decided to keep my money as well. So basically then, I was screwed. Fugged to hell; beat to the curve and kicked while down.

THANK GOD FOR FRIENDS. That day, the roommate took me out. And it was a great night.

So now, here I am, sitting in downtown Calgary realising that this is my first ever Easter without the family. No dinner this year, no seeing the cousins and uncles and aunts and new additions to family. Not thig year, its just me and the roommate and a friend. And you know what .. it feels good.

As odd as it is that I lost my job (lil tidbit: I've never been fired before in my life) and have no money, I can still sit back and be chill. Thats odd, and it feels good.

So, I'll check in every now and then and check out the blogs I miss the most (and yes, your linked to the right). So, I hope all y'all had a great dinner whether it be with friends or family or whatever. Keep your head up and enjoy the day as the sun still shines and wind still blows and the river still flows. Take care .. see ya soon.

Sometimes ...

Sometimes you just can't help but feel good.

So last night was the LAST night that Metro/Boystown was open. The end of an era so to speak as the ten year old bar is closing its doors for good. And so last night, EVERYONE was out, even though it was only thursday. And although the once most popular gay bar in Calgary was closing, everyone was having a good time.

Now I must say that I was not a resident of Calgary during Boystown's hayday, whilst it was in its prime, but ... actually that was the point.

Anyways, the bar was packed. Everyone was chatting with everyone. You were literally bumping shoulders and coping feels as you walked through the crowd. Unfortunately, this bar hasn't had that kind of action in a LONG time and whats more unfortunate is that it took closing doors to get everyone there.

Anyways, back to feeling good ... there are just sometimes when you realise where you stand; an epiphany, a revelation of what is. And last night, in an brief moment while I stared at the packed dance floor of the closing bar, I realised where I stood. For I remembered comments that everyone was saying that entire night as I was introducing my friends to each other.

It struck a cord when I heard:

"Yeah, he's a good guy. Hell, even my boyfriend likes him. My bf thinks he's a great guy. Which is odd, because my bf doens't like anyone."

I was feeling good for I realised I needed to take time out from talking to so many people everywhere I stood. Everywhere I walked there was someone to say hi to, and laugh with, and joke around with, and be a bitch with (damn, he's actually wearing that?!). Where ever I looked there was someone with a story, someone with a history that I knew. I felt good.

What were they thinking?

Answer: The Ring 2, UlrtaViolet, The Core, Barbwire, Halloween Resurrection, Island of Dr. Moreau, Mortal Kombat Annihilation, Batman & Robin (and many more)

Question: What horrible movies did I actually sat through HOPING they would get better?

Sadly, I was misguided. And truthfully, I don't think I'll learn my lesson, speaking as an ubercinemaphile; for there are many more films I could mention. But I decided to do you justice by leaving them unmentioned, cause NO ONE deserves to remember those pieces of crap.

ANYWAYS, as I was drinking my coffee this morning and getting ready for work, it struck me .. .I actually sat through The RIng 2 ... again. What on earth would allow me to endure that piece of crap anyways? Whateva. This thought is just the beginning to what I'm about to say. For when I pondered about this torturing phenomena that I put myself through, I started to think about the directors. Oh god what it must feel like to be credited for producing such crap. I mean really?

Are the directors actually hoping to get rave reviews upon seeing the final product? Do they actually beleive with all their heart they made a decent film? (let alone a great one) Or do they actually know they produced crap and are still releasing it upong the world despite? I don't know. I guess its just one of those phenomena's we must endure as we purchase the movie ticket in hopes of seeing something that's actually entertaining. Good luck at the movies.

Hump Day

And still nothing to hump ... I s'pose I could hump the lamp, or the couch, or some hot strangers leg as he walks by .. but they guys would be better.




One pic is one that was shared with me via a wb-bassed community and therefore crediting it is rather difficult. The other three are from flickr.com and I will credit and add a link with those pics as soon I as I get to it. Gotta love flickr.com

$200 Discount

According to the Daily Gossip found at Out.com ... "a travel agency based in Taiwan is offering trip packages to Fort Macleod, Alberta, Canada, where much of Brokeback Mountain is filmed. And get this, Gays and Lesbians get a $200 discount! Although, Out.com raises an interesting question, how do we prove we're gay?"

Now here's my lil tidbit; Will the travel agency give me $200 cash if I show up in Fort Macleod since its only a few hours drive away?

To read more about Clay Aiken *rolls eyes* (do you really want to?), Christopher Ashley and how to be in your own super hero movie .. click the headline.

Tuesday Zilch ... NADDA

Lets see .. what to blog, what to blog. Say for the exceptions of weekends, I try to blog something every day. Just to keep the creative juices flowing. Although, today ... I'm stuck. I can't think of anything. Cept for I've been tired lately. But thats about it. No amound of coffee, no amount of food is giving me energy to keep my eyes open. But that lil tid bit is just boring. I mean see ... lookit, I'm already done. I now have more space to fill ... and with NADDA, ZIP, ZILCH, MUGGY'NESS (my own lil word to describe 'nothing'). So I guess I could post more pics of men to drool over. I S'POSE THATS WHAT I COULD DO.

But, I can do that anyday. Like I said, the CREATIVE JUICES must be kept flowing. And whats so creative about pics that run amuck the net more often than Bush being on the news. All that keeps flowing is drool. And so, a special thanks yous to flickr.com (I love that site, can you tell I love that site?) for giving me a chance to see these pics below. They are post in my favorites portion of that site.






tomorrow .. tomorrow I promise, there will be pics of men. We kept the creative juices flowing today, and so tomorrow we'll keep the drool flowin.

turning the page .....

turning the page.CNFSNAL.wav
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Page by page I continue this new story I started just months ago; not fully knowing what the story is about nor where its headed. Nevertheless I continue to read. And with every character introduced and revisited, I still try to grasp at whats going on and why. I try to comprehend the entire framework being introduced before me but to no avail. Both aspects are still very vague to me. For I'm still walking alone in the woods of mystery and discovery with nothing discovered and everything still mystiified.

Nothing is making sense. And with each new page and each new character, the fact of not knowing what or whom or even why leaves everything I've just consumed without any value or rhyme or reason. Not knowing anything makes everything "just there".

Its like I'm finding a lonely watch in an earthly field.
Its far too complex to be coincidence; the lonely watch is too constructed with detail to be of earthly design. No, it was left be someone; created by someone and I just stumbled upon it. Yet, I don't know who or why. For I, just like the watch am in the field. No evidence exists to help me find discovery. But its too coincidental, too constructed for it all to be left by chance. No, there is something else.

And so I continue to read, in hopes that the next chapter will explain all. I turn each new page with curiousity and need. I turn the page because I have to. I turn the page ....