Want to Jump?

Sometimes you just want to jump. Sometime just peering over the edge and seeing the world below makes ya wanna spread your wings and fly. I want nothing but air around me. No more noise. No more pollution. No more strangers. Just lay my head in the clouds and sleep. I wanna feel the warmth of the shiny sun and I just lay back and breathe. I wanna take that daring leap, that risky leap that proves to be successful. I just wanna jump.

UPDATE

And the hunt continues. Which is kind of odd and suiting since I always feel like I'm on the hunt for something, even though have the time I don't know what it is I'm actually looking for. Meh, such is life for I.

So anyways, I did land a job awhile back. I was a cook for Boston Pizza .. for a day. Ah yes, the thrill of proportioning pasta and making sure that everything is perfect. Sure, would have been a job I liked, but I went and did something unexpectedly. I quit. The next day I was to work early in the morning (its early becuase I'm never up that early), and while half asleep, I called work and quit. lol Lets just say I do odd things and say odd things and say odd things while asleep. Add that motor skills ... I'm bound to do shit. So yeah, I quit while half asleep and remembered it as a dream. I awoke after that, hours later, and when I realised what time it was I remembered "the dream".

I've never gone back there since, lol.

Offly enough though, that same say I finally got a hold of a company I was trying to work for for many months now. They called, and arranged and interview. Had I been at work, I never would have got the call. So I guess it all worked out. Even though I'm still unemployed and broke at the moment, and rent is due.

I can go on and on about whats been happening, but lets just say that there is still no light at the end of the tunnel. But no worries, I'm still looking for it. For now, I'll just take baby steps in this tunnel with my one match for light.

Take care.

Turn the page ...

And suddenly its not so bright anymore. The sun shines in full force, raining is rays over the city; letting the civilians know that spring is here and summer is soon. And yet, I still feel the cold breeze of winter.

As buds blossom and the spring styles walk down the street, I still see a world of grey. I know that spring beauty is there. I just can't see it.

Instead I'm weighed heavily and more tired than usual.

The story has taken a sudden shift. And still, I turn the page.

Whats up?

So, what do you do when your roommate, boyfriend, and best friend, keep asking you "whats wrong"? Especially when you don't think that anything is wrong.

Apparently I'm acting differently these days. Personally, I don't see it, I really don't. But its there, and there for other people to see. And I'm thinking that those I'm close too are worried about it. But I still don't see what it is they're talking about. I really don't.

So anyways .. figured I'd post something. Just keep this blog thing going.

Adios for now

As many of my avid reader may have noticed, there has been no postings for a week. Exactly 7 days have gone by and nadda is coming out. Well, this may be the case for quite awhile.

On monday, I lost my job. And I have no prospects for another just yet, and I have no money saved up. (And you would think that the whole roommate fiasco awhile back would have taught me that lesson *rolls eyes*).

And so, excuse for me a bit as I venture on yet another new chapter of this crazy incessant rollercoaster ride I call life. I'll be back soon ... I hope.

Adios, for now.

Row - Day - Yo (Rodeo)

Oddly enough its reminiscent. Who knew the smell of horse menure would bring a sense of nostagia? But it does. As I stroll into the Rodeo, the first of the season, I'm bombarded with memories of home. I can see quite vividly the fair grounds of the annual stampede. I can smell the mouthwatering flavour of vendor hotdogs and mini donuts. I'm half expecting to run into someone I know I'm so drawn in memories.

I continue through the crowd of tight wrangler wearing cowboys looking for beer, for seeing these gorgeous men chug back their plastic cup of ale drives me thirsty. And as I zig and zag through the sea of manly men in search for ale, I'm continuously distracted by bulges and curves. How odd that I remember not cruising these men back home.


I approach the bar, order my drink and pay the tired woman behind the counter. I go and find my seat.

Since alone, I find a portion of the seating area with the least spectators. And there, I watch the rodeo. I see strapping young men mount their horses and partake in the western festivities; roping cattle, riding broncs, riding bareback, cattle steering, all the while dropping their cowboy hats along the way or getting thrown off the stallion. All very entertaining, all very welcoming.

I still find it odd that it all brings back a sense of nostalgia, especially considering that fact the I never actually watched a Rodeo back home. And yet, here I am, enjoying the company of many a stranger.

Another one FREE ...

Anyone remember Chris Kanyon? From WWE? NO. What about from WCW (that's no longer in existence)? No. What about from TNA (Total Nonstop Action, not that other thing that str8 boys giggle and gawk at)? Not ringing any bells? No worries, I too vaguely remember him. And I mean VERY VAGUELY remember him. But, had I known back in 1995, when Kanyon shone brightly in spotlight up until 2005, then it might have been a different story. Reason being, he's gay.

Thats right, a reknowned Wrestling superstar (up for debate if you ask me) has come out of the closet. Published on OutSports' website (www.outsports.com) is an exerpt of Kanyons first interview since coming out. That article was published on said website March 31, 2006.

Now, Kanyon's career as a wrestler is questionable to me ONLY for the fact that I've been out of the wrestling loop for a LONG TIME. But nevertheless, Kanyon has been known to associate with the likes of Diamond Dallas Page, Bam Bam Bigelow and wrestled against the likes of WWE superstar's "The Undertaker" and "Kane". Credibility no longer questioned.

Anyways, if I had known then what I know now aspect of this post. What would my life have been like if I had a gay wrestler to look up too? As a wrestling fan (not necessarily a fanatic, but a fan nonetheless) who happen to be gay, I don't think I was more isolated and more forced into the closet, than in any other sport. (although, hockey is right up there). And so with the news that a wrestler who has wrestled in the WWE, I can't help but wonder what it would have been like.

Either way, Kris Kanyon, congrats. I honestly mean that, to be able to come out of the closet while partaking in wrestling is very courageous and very honorable. Congrats. And if anyone gives you any crap for it, just suplex them.

Brief tidbits to keep your attention:

- TNA banned Kanyon from attending a PPV event (due to "technical legalities", according to TNA; must also be stated he was banned after coming out during a match with TNA)
- Kanyon played the stunt double for Oliver in Ready To Rumble which stared David Arquette and Sting



For more infor on Kanyon, you may visit his MSN MySpace at:
http://www.myspace.com/chriskanyon

Or check out Outsports.com [linked to the right]

Updated "Most Comments" via Flickr

not much to post (or posts are just to incoherent to publisb)

And so, here is an update on my flickr.com album. The following pics are the Top Most Commented as of today, April 5, 2006.

Does Anyone ....

Does anyone realise that at the first hour and three seconds passed the second minute (01 hr:02 min:03 sec), that the official date was

01:02:03 04/05/06


This won't happen again until the year 2106.

Wrestling Sunday

5 gay guys sitting around the tv watching sweaty beefy studs wrestling for a shiny belt. Thats how I spent my sunday, watching Wrestlemania 22 with buds. And wow, what entertainment that was.


What I like most about Wrestlemania is that its the staney cup of wrestling, the superbowl of wrestling entertainment. Hell, the roommate and I dished out 50 bucks to order it, so it had damn well be entertaining. And as muchly anticipated as it was .. WHOA! Thats all I can say, 'whoa'.

Shaun Micheals vs. Mr. McMahon; bring Shaun back to the bad ass days and implying a possible return of Degeneration X. Honestly, what the hell was happening to Shaun Micheals? WHO CARES? All I know is he WHOOPED Mr. McMahon's ass with that trash can. Pic to the left, thats Shaun Micheals dropping down a 14 ft ladder with McMahon in the garbage can laying on a table. Ouch, thats gotta hurt. This match wasn't about whose gonna win whatever belt that was up for grabs. No, this match was meant for McMahon to humiliate Micheals (as McMahon does with pretty much everyone else on the show). Unfortunately, McMahon's tactics have pushed Micheal's too far and thus resulting in punishment-inducing, needing-to-hurt-someone, I-don't-give-a-fug bad ass Micheal's that we all knew and loved yesteryear. Yes, the Shaun Micheals bad ass of the century is back. And Mr. McMahon, I know you got your ass handed to you on a silver platter, but thank you for giving up Shaun Micheals back. WOO HOO.

And who knew people actually liked that psycho beyotch Mickie.

The Chicago crowd was going fuggin nuts for her, cheering her ass on as she wrestled Trish Strata. (And yes, they actually wrestled with submission moves and acrobatics just like any other wrestler in WWE)

You know, I remember when they first introduced womans wrestling; it was nothing but catfights with slapping and pulling hair and throwing each other to the ground. *Yawn* If I wanted to see that I'd go back to high school. I'm so glad Trish pioneered womans wrestling to what it is today in WWE. Its just too bad she lost her Womans Champ title that night.

BUT OH MI GOD, the number one match to talk about; EDGE vs. Mick Foley. The HARDCORE MATCH. And hardcore it was. They took out all stops for this one. Two all star wrestlers duking it out in the ring where all is game. Even bodyslamming your opponent onto the ring thats full of nails. Or bringing out the bat covered in barbwire. And yes yes, lets not forget the sock (for those who don't know, you'll have to figure this one out). But the best moment in this match is the finishing move that proved victorious for Edge; spearing Mick Foley through a flaming table (yes, the table was on fire, talk about HOLY SH*T)


Now. the match I was waiting for, kind of a downer when you just realised what I was watching for the past 3.5 hours (yes, it was a 4 hour event). But my guy, John Cena, the only guy I was root for over and over again, regains his title. He ain't losing it that night. In what was the biggest surprise of the night, Triple H tapped out of a submission move almost instantly. Boo-Urns. I expected more, I honestly did. But the outcome is exactly what I had prayed for. But truth be told, I had half epected Cena to lose. Why? Well, for the main reason that he had been Champ for far too long now. He's held the title for MONTHS, its coming up about the time when one would normally lose the title; but he still has it. YAY!


All in all, 50 bucks well spent and great times spent with friends. Quite a few:
"Holy Sh*t!"
"How'd he do that?"
"What the Fug?"
and "WHOA," moments.

DAMN, can't wait for next year.

.. destiny ...

As JoeyDestino mentioned in his most recent post, "... your desinty will be fulfilled where ever you are."

*sigh*

Let's face it, that fact of not knowing what, who, where and when ... is very very frustrating. And all I can do is hope that its meant to be, and if not, then that it'll at least mean something.

April 16, 2006

And so .. here I am (whoa, wasn't that my first title of this blog?).

As mentioned, I lost my job. Woke up one day and BAM, it was gone. Whats worse, they (the firm) decided to keep my severance pay AND my vacation pay (I owe them money). I'm 24 years old and living paycheck to paycheck. So yeah, I didn't take that too well. And of course, it didn't help that day that the bank also decided to keep my money as well. So basically then, I was screwed. Fugged to hell; beat to the curve and kicked while down.

THANK GOD FOR FRIENDS. That day, the roommate took me out. And it was a great night.

So now, here I am, sitting in downtown Calgary realising that this is my first ever Easter without the family. No dinner this year, no seeing the cousins and uncles and aunts and new additions to family. Not thig year, its just me and the roommate and a friend. And you know what .. it feels good.

As odd as it is that I lost my job (lil tidbit: I've never been fired before in my life) and have no money, I can still sit back and be chill. Thats odd, and it feels good.

So, I'll check in every now and then and check out the blogs I miss the most (and yes, your linked to the right). So, I hope all y'all had a great dinner whether it be with friends or family or whatever. Keep your head up and enjoy the day as the sun still shines and wind still blows and the river still flows. Take care .. see ya soon.