Tired

Its been months since I've felt rejuvenated in the morning. Its been a very long time since I actually wanted to awake for the day to come. Not one day passes by where all I want to do is sleep. Just to lay lifeless as the sun rises and sets, at times that is my wish. I'm just so tired.

Days come and pass, days where I feel lifeless. Days where I feel used. There are days where I'm angry at the world and everyone in it, and then there are days where I don't care; I'm a walking drone doing simply what has to be done.

I'm tired of work where I'm merely a chump; supposedly someone whose a part of management and yet the last person to know anything (if I'm lucky to know at all). I'm tired of being used to "boost employee morale" simply because I treat everyone else with respect and help them do they're job if they need it. I'm tired of being bought over with free meals and a booze tab to keep up my own morale; free tabs I don't use because I close the restaurant and can't stand being there beforehand. I'm tired of nightshifts in the same week as my morning shifts. I'm tired of feeling that if I do quit that I'd make it harder for the hardworking individuals in the same boat as I. Most of all, I'm tired of walking through the doors at the beginning of my shift and feeling even moreso tired at that moment than when I had first awaken for the day.

I'm tired of living in an apartment where I feel like a pet or a child. I'm tired of staying with a "b/f" where I don't feel that he is in my heart. Beleive it or not, I'm tired of being taken care of and slowly having my independence (as little as it was gettin) stripped away. I'm tired of being pestered when all I want is to be left alone. Most of all, I'm tired of the fuggin question "are you okay?".

I'm tired of ........... I'm just tired.