Being Single ... again

So as mentioned before, I got out of a relationship .. one that really wasn't working for me from the get go.

Anyways, I find myself wondering what its like to be single .. even though I actually am single. I think I'm findin it hard as to what it means because of the fact that I still live with the ex. The reason I stayed was more out of necessity than choice. Ya see, as I'm still training to be an ironworker, I'm still a student. And being a student here in this city, with its economy, sucks. I can't afford anything. And so, I still live with the guy.

For the most part, its all good ... I have my own time and I do my own thing (even though it mainly consists of walking around downtown by myself and window shopping), and I am making friends in the program. I still find myself trying to form an identity that I'm comfortable with. Ya see, most people I talk too were 'his' friends first. And absolutely nothing wrong with them, I still talk to them and we all hang out too, its just that fact .. they were his friends first. And that should mean nothing in regards to true friends .. and I feel that they are true friends. Its just, would I have met them if I hadn't dated this guy? Would I have met them if I had a true sense of personal identity a long time ago?

With were my new friends are heading, and where my old friends are from, I can't help be realise a huge rift between the two. I feel as if I'm coming from the fact that my being gay doesn't define me as a whole .. whereas my old friends, take away that fact and they have nothing else to talk about.

Well, I guess its just thoughts. And I'll see where I end up, I suppose.