Why I Left ... home

The original intention of moving to Calgary in the first place was to gain experience in a Law Firm and to network with that firm while I got into Law School. I wasn’t done a degree just yet but was certainly on my way to Law School. Unfortunately a previous bout of depression whilst in school hindered my chances of getting back into school that next year and completing my degree; and I didn’t contest it. So my short term employment became long term, where I learned even more so that Law just wasn’t my thing. I had no passion for it whatsoever. Thankfully I was fired, lol. And yes, it is possible to be thankful of a firing.

I stayed in Calgary because I knew that going back to my hometown in rednecks’ville just wasn’t a viable option for me. As a young gay man, I knew I NEEDED to experience the gay community and finally have some gay friends and just totally figure out what it all meant to me.

The biggest reason I didn’t have any gay friends in college were simply because I was petrified of prejudice. Being a native man, I experienced first-hand the pain that prejudice can produce; I felt the lynching and a bat to the head, simply because I was native; I wound up in the hospital and lost memories of that night because of it. It happened, the hospital and police reports say so. So I won’t deny that influenced me in a HUGE way and followed me well into college; and probably still influences me to this day.

Anyways, I was at a point where I wanted to break down the walls that were holding me back, but felt that I could only do it in Calgary. And so even though my original plan of being a lawyer was shot down, and I had no job, I stayed in Calgary. I met someone, fell in love; it didn't work out (which really sucked). Made friends, most of whom would screw me over. And challenged myself and learned more about myself than I ever could in my hometown.

I eventually arrived to a point where I knew I couldn't go back home. I was too different to be able to go back to a kind of town that would hinder my own inner growth. It felt like a step back.