D's Choice

He sits alone at the foot of an empty bed in an empty room. Motionless. Expressionless. One is consumed at the empty abyss within his eyes. His packed school bag lies at his feet. He is fully dressed to face yet another exhausting day of school, to face yet another exhausting day of life. He's tired of pretending to be okay.

A long kitchen knife rests pointed towards his gutt. And still he sits like an empty shell.

A car horn honks once. Twice. And a longated third time stressing a rush. He hears it faintly even though it echoes from the front carport.

He finally looks up at himself in the wall length mirror before him. And standing behind him is his little sister. A lonely tears rolls down his cheek. He knows she's not really behind him. He saw her walk out the front door that morning, just a moments ago with his mother. He wimpers and barely audible cry.

He's very tired and ready to sleep. And suddenly, she smiles.

Years of repressed pain finally spill out like opening a flooded damn. He can't control the tears and the pain escaping into empty air. An epiphany has just taken place. She is only 4 years old, and the first lesson as an older brother he will teach her is the pain of loss. But not only that. The ultimate realisation taking place is that when he is gone, the pain he lives with, the darkness that consumes his every day will pass on to her. This he cannot have.

Another car horn, even more longated than the last one.

He gathers himself, wipes the tears and runs up the basement stairwell and returns the missing knife back into the kitchen. No one even knew it was missing. He runs out the door, and to the parked car where his mother, younger sister, and younger brother await him. He climbs in the front seat knowing fully well neither with know what was about to happen.

YOUR SO SLOW. His mother barks. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO POKEY. I DONT KNOW WHY YOU KIDS ..... she goes as she usually does. He hears it all, soaks it all in knowing fully well it will be all he hears throughout the day.

He peers over his sholder and sees his younger brother nodding in the back seat of the car, head resting on the window as they pull away from the house. He looks at his lil sis, innocently sipping away at her juice box. She sees him, and smiles.

He knows what he must do. She must never doubt love.