Hi Everyone. My name is _______. And I'm an Alcoholic.

Are we surprised? Nah, not really. I've always been upfront about my alcoholism. And I've always known that its not that big of a problem. (awaits the groans and moaning to stop) I've seen alcoholism at work, I know its gory details and the wrath it can inflict. I've personally been through it. So before you judge ... well, just don't. Okay?

So what brings this up? Why is it sooo important that I feel I must share it with the world? Simple. I've been drunk for a week. Not literally to the point where I'm drunk again five minutes after I wake up. But in the sense that its all I do in the evenings. After work, I go rollerblade, maybe I'll have something to eat, then its off to the bar. And this has been going on for week. Ever since I got back from Europe.

Its actually been exactly a week since I got back. And due to extreme Jet Lag, I crashed out at 6pm last wednesday even though I really wanted to go out (just wanted to see my crush again since I haven't seen him for three weeks. sad, ain't it?). But I did go out again on thurs, to see friends and converse about my trip. But I ended up getting drunk. Friday, got drunk. Sat, got drunk. Sun, got drunk. Monday, got drunk. Yesterday, got drunk. Today, will probably get drunk. Now, I don't know about you, but I see a pattern forming here.

Now, since my parents were alcoholics, and my older siblings ... being a full fledge alkie fuggin scares me. To have dependence on an intoxicating liquid, to me frankly, is sad. And I see that I'm starting to develope that dependency. Fug, screw 'developing', for its already there. But Why? Simply because of my social ineptness. Lets face, its easier to talk to the hot guy at the other end of the bar after a chug of confidence juice. And, not only am I socially inept, but I'm also just shy and very unassuming (quoting someone else on that one). And therefore, having a few drinks actually makes me socialable and conversive.

And now to the main point. Why? What makes alcohol significant to me? Why do I need it to become a social person? Well, I hate the answer, but its true. My self image is poor. My self-confidence is low. I feel that there is no one out there who knows me or even wants to get to know me and blah blah blah blah blah. Lets face it, its the usual self-depricating tapes that play in our heads when we're lonely. And for the most part thats it. I'm just lonely. I have bar friends, bar acquiantances. A night at the bar is definately alot better than sitting at home waiting for a dead phone to ring. And even if its just bar friends, thats better than no friends.

So hello everyone. My name is _________, and I'm an alcoholic.