Best Friends

(pics taken from Steve Walkers site ... great pictures for sure ... gay icon for the arts)

And so one thing I've noticed is that as of late, I haven't been as frequent as usual with my postings. I used to be a twice a day blogger when I started, but now I'm more of a twice a week kind. What does this mean? Did anyone notice? Is it a good thing? Is my blog entertainging or at the very least, interesting?

For the most part, am I just running out of shit to say ... ? nah ... I'm just busy. With trying to get myself established and finding the right path for my life (btw ... I've decided I'm saying NO to law school, and YES to film school ... thank you to a new friend who has helped me realise my true passions), and also having limited internet access (yes, I still don't have a pc of my own), I just don't have the time or resources to do what I want with this blog.

Anyways ... onto other things. There are days where my mind seems to be focused on certain themes. As a thinker and observer ... I'm used to it. Although it gets kind of depressing at time (I usually go over serious shit and whatever I feel is missing in my life at the time ... so yeah, I really need to stop doing that), this past weekend it hasn't ended up like that at all. I was speaking with an avid karaoke'er the other night and we got into discussing his partner of 10 years who was just recovering from surgery. And I was in awe in how he spoke of him. Just the brief mention of his partner light up his eyes and brought about a smile that was priceless. He missed the fact that his partner wasn't there to sit with him throughout the night and even mentioned he feels lost at night when we awakes to find himself alone in his bed. And all the while he spoke, I sat there and listened and laughed (cause there were a few hilarious stories about camping) and prayed and hoped that someday I too will find my best friend. And thats what I noticed, of all the couples I spoke too and met, I observed their behaviour with each other and noticed they were best friends. All the couples I met this past weekend actually didn't leave me depressed. I didn't look at them and realise that I don't have that (it was a thought, but only a fraction of a second) and maybe its because I didn't feel left out. In fact, I looked at them and was only filled with hope instead of despair. It was heartwarming.

Maybe I am changing. Maybe I am becoming a better person. Maybe I am happy for once.