Not the way I wanted to do it ... but .....

It never works out the way you want it too. And tv has jaded me so much that everything I expect it usually derived from it (damn media, yet I love ya so much, lol).

Anyways, I came out to my mom. Through an email, lol. It definately was not the way I wanted to do it. I always beleived that anything expressed in person through spoken word always held value. But I guess, its the end result that matters.

Nevertheless, heres what happened. I received a phone call yesterday from my sister, they left a message in my phone. And since can't call long distance (I'm still a broke ass student), I emailed my mom asking what they called for. Anyways, apparently they received word from a friend of mine that I was almost in a fight while at a drinking party back home. What happened was people approached me and threaten me because just because I'm gay. (there was a few of them and one of me, ooohh how tough they are needing to approach me in a group *note my extreme sarcasm on the "ooooh"*) Anyways, I never told the family about it on account that I hadn't told them I was gay yet, and besides, this was in my home town in which I don't even live at anymore. But, a female friend of mine as there, and I'm supposing she told.

So, since I asked why they called, and this lead to that incident and also lead to my brother telling my mom to talk to me about my "problems" (he and I have issues with each other, and always will have issues with each other). She wanted to know why the incident happend. (remind you, this is all through email) .... well, I'm here at the college, studying for two final exams I have for tomorrow. And now, I have to deal with this. I had always wanted to tell my mom in person. Or at least be there when she read a letter I wrote. But I know my mind, college is important right now, and I need to get at it. But when something big gets in the way my mind will usually focus on that for LOONG periods of time until its settled or casually floated out of my mind. Well, I don't have time to wait, and I need to deal with it pronto (did I just say pronto?!) if I'm going to pass this exam. So I figured "shit, might as well."

I couldn't focus for the next few hours, and so I decided to email the letter I wrote (it was originally typed out). And TAA DAA .. thats how it happened. My mom now knows, and apparently has had an inkling about it for some time now. I knew she would understand, but I must admit fear was taking over since I know she's gettin heavy on religion. The "talk" that I was waiting for, happened through an email.

Thats so unlike television.