I had to. He was too good for me. I never even knew that was possible ... but he was. He wanted to see me happy, he wanted to hear me laugh, he wanted to see me successful. And I let go of him.
Truth be told, I broke it off with him ... he would have stayed. He would have stuck it through ... I guess I just didn't like that idea of me relying on him. For one, he's in the same boat as I as in we both have a lot of debts to clear ... but lately he's been supporting me. He's bought me groceries and he's done ALL of my laundry and over and over again he'll make a trip just cause I ask him too ... and I can't return any of that. I can't be where I want to be for him. He's done so much for me that frankly I should be able to do for myself and not need to rely on someone. I can't be dependent on someone.
As mentioned .. the roommate moved out, on two days notice. That fact broke me. I literally have NO money, and I should have at least been prepared for something like this. I should have looked ahead and prepared for possibilities, but that didn't happen and now I'm in a rut. A rut I can't break out from, and I don't want to bring anyone down.
I need to change .. I need to learn more for myself. Right now I'm lost and need to find myself. And I can only do that alone.
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3 comments:
U serious? .. some antidepressants?
That is not acceptable. I do everything for my boy who seems incapable of doing for himself. And I love doing it. How can you just let him go? So depressing. He probably did things for you because he wanted to. If you love him get him back.
I've been where you are right now...fairly recently, in fact. It seems as though the pain will never end, but it does. All it takes is time and tears. You'll make it. Contact me if you want to chat. /HUG to ya!
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