WHY? WHY? WHY?

Why do I attract losers? Okay, perhaps too harsh a word for what I'm thinking about. But nevertheless, I seem to be attracting guys that are trying too hard to either impress me or get my attention or just to simply get on my good side. And I mean TOO HARD. I mean I know that they're just trying to spark up conversation and whatever, trying to make some good jokes to leave a good impression of themselves, however jokes that are just plainly rude and ignorant in nature just don't cut it with me. And definately don't leave a good first impression with me. Honestly, I don't like jokes that poke fun regarding a trait that was inevitable, written in the stars so to speak, about me; so I transfer that to other people as well.

Okay, I don't know if I'm making sense here. Hell, I don't know how to say what it is I'm trying to say. But the jist of it is that I'm attracting guys who do not have attractive personalities. Hell, they're down right ugly to me.

Maybe its that I know being gay doesn't define me as a person. Every guy I've met, or at least every guy that has tried to pick me up, seems to be defined by his 'gayness', a proud gay man of the new millenium. Now don't get me wrong here, I'm as proud as the next gay man. However, being gay is not the only thing going on in my life right now. I have other shyte to deal with. My mind isn't always focused on sex or anything thats gay oriented. (also true is that I do think about sex alot, lol, I am young afterall) But there's so much more to gay life than being gay. A lot of guys I've met seem to focus on the 'gay' aspect, and forget about 'life'.

*sigh* Someday I'll meet a funny, handsome man who happens to be gay. He'll let me be who I am, and will love me for it.