So somethings been happening to my sleep patterns. You know that feeling you get when your asleep but your eyes are awake and you can actually see everything in the place your sleeping? Your awake but your asleep at the same time? Well, I remember them. I remember them quite vividly for they've been happening again lately. I'd be asleep either in my apartment or at the bf's, and suddenly I'll awake and see something or someone standing in the corner, or on the floor or somewhere. Either way, I'll see someone else who isn't there. I suspect I'm merely dreaming, but the detail is more vivid than a mere dream.
It first happened at my bf's in the middle of the night (not like I really need to tell you when, I mean come on .. when else do I sleep?), I awoke and immediately felt the stillness of the night and the calm of silence and found it unsettling. I sat up as the bf lay next to me, and looked around. And suddenly something caught my attention from the corner of my eye. Immediately I steered my attention towards the foot of the bed to find out what it was, and I seen it again. An arm reaching up from the floor that reaches over the ledge of the bed, followed by another arm; its opposite. And then another arm and another opposite for it. I see very vividly what appears to be two persons pulling themselves up from the floor, crawling upwards onto the bed. Yet, I just sit there and stare.
Under normal circumstances the average joe would be scared, and perhaps I was but never realised it; yet I feel that I wasn't. Instead, such an occurence that so odd and strange is seemingly finding normality within me. Its not the first time I've seen things while suddenly awaking from sleep.
The bf turns around and notices me sitting up and asks concerned if everything is okay. Now maybe its cause I'm still sleeping or my logic has completely dissapated at that moment, but I ask him "do you see them?" Of course he cannot, which I knew in the first place, yet I still ask.
He says its a bad dream, which I still find odd ... finding worth in dreams and judging them as good or bad. But still, thats the way it goes.
I still see them, crawling up the edge of bed in such a manner, in such odd movements I can only describe as unhuman. Have you ever seen "The Ring 2", the scene where the villain crawls up the well? Perfect description there.
"Its just a bad dream, just try go back to bed," the bf reassures. But I don't need reassurance. I know it happens from time to time. For it wasn't the first, and considering my sleeping patterns, I'm certain it won't be the last.
But I guess what matters most, is that when I layed back down, the bf put is arm over me and held me close. He may not have understood, but he was there. I didn't need reassurance, but I got it anyways .... and that felt good.
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2 comments:
You are not alone. Gay men around the world are having their ordinary sleep patterns upset of late. No one knows why, but we think it must be something lunar. Very strange, but not enough scientists will focus on this issue to figure it out.
On the rare occasion when I stay at the BFs, I always take my alarm clock with me. I was given a wind-up clock years ago, that audibly ticks. I've found that if I don't have that background noise, I have problems sleeping. But then again, the BF arm always makes me sleep like a baby!
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