Sometimes ...

Sometimes you just can't help but feel good.

So last night was the LAST night that Metro/Boystown was open. The end of an era so to speak as the ten year old bar is closing its doors for good. And so last night, EVERYONE was out, even though it was only thursday. And although the once most popular gay bar in Calgary was closing, everyone was having a good time.

Now I must say that I was not a resident of Calgary during Boystown's hayday, whilst it was in its prime, but ... actually that was the point.

Anyways, the bar was packed. Everyone was chatting with everyone. You were literally bumping shoulders and coping feels as you walked through the crowd. Unfortunately, this bar hasn't had that kind of action in a LONG time and whats more unfortunate is that it took closing doors to get everyone there.

Anyways, back to feeling good ... there are just sometimes when you realise where you stand; an epiphany, a revelation of what is. And last night, in an brief moment while I stared at the packed dance floor of the closing bar, I realised where I stood. For I remembered comments that everyone was saying that entire night as I was introducing my friends to each other.

It struck a cord when I heard:

"Yeah, he's a good guy. Hell, even my boyfriend likes him. My bf thinks he's a great guy. Which is odd, because my bf doens't like anyone."

I was feeling good for I realised I needed to take time out from talking to so many people everywhere I stood. Everywhere I walked there was someone to say hi to, and laugh with, and joke around with, and be a bitch with (damn, he's actually wearing that?!). Where ever I looked there was someone with a story, someone with a history that I knew. I felt good.

What were they thinking?

Answer: The Ring 2, UlrtaViolet, The Core, Barbwire, Halloween Resurrection, Island of Dr. Moreau, Mortal Kombat Annihilation, Batman & Robin (and many more)

Question: What horrible movies did I actually sat through HOPING they would get better?

Sadly, I was misguided. And truthfully, I don't think I'll learn my lesson, speaking as an ubercinemaphile; for there are many more films I could mention. But I decided to do you justice by leaving them unmentioned, cause NO ONE deserves to remember those pieces of crap.

ANYWAYS, as I was drinking my coffee this morning and getting ready for work, it struck me .. .I actually sat through The RIng 2 ... again. What on earth would allow me to endure that piece of crap anyways? Whateva. This thought is just the beginning to what I'm about to say. For when I pondered about this torturing phenomena that I put myself through, I started to think about the directors. Oh god what it must feel like to be credited for producing such crap. I mean really?

Are the directors actually hoping to get rave reviews upon seeing the final product? Do they actually beleive with all their heart they made a decent film? (let alone a great one) Or do they actually know they produced crap and are still releasing it upong the world despite? I don't know. I guess its just one of those phenomena's we must endure as we purchase the movie ticket in hopes of seeing something that's actually entertaining. Good luck at the movies.

Hump Day

And still nothing to hump ... I s'pose I could hump the lamp, or the couch, or some hot strangers leg as he walks by .. but they guys would be better.




One pic is one that was shared with me via a wb-bassed community and therefore crediting it is rather difficult. The other three are from flickr.com and I will credit and add a link with those pics as soon I as I get to it. Gotta love flickr.com

$200 Discount

According to the Daily Gossip found at Out.com ... "a travel agency based in Taiwan is offering trip packages to Fort Macleod, Alberta, Canada, where much of Brokeback Mountain is filmed. And get this, Gays and Lesbians get a $200 discount! Although, Out.com raises an interesting question, how do we prove we're gay?"

Now here's my lil tidbit; Will the travel agency give me $200 cash if I show up in Fort Macleod since its only a few hours drive away?

To read more about Clay Aiken *rolls eyes* (do you really want to?), Christopher Ashley and how to be in your own super hero movie .. click the headline.

Tuesday Zilch ... NADDA

Lets see .. what to blog, what to blog. Say for the exceptions of weekends, I try to blog something every day. Just to keep the creative juices flowing. Although, today ... I'm stuck. I can't think of anything. Cept for I've been tired lately. But thats about it. No amound of coffee, no amount of food is giving me energy to keep my eyes open. But that lil tid bit is just boring. I mean see ... lookit, I'm already done. I now have more space to fill ... and with NADDA, ZIP, ZILCH, MUGGY'NESS (my own lil word to describe 'nothing'). So I guess I could post more pics of men to drool over. I S'POSE THATS WHAT I COULD DO.

But, I can do that anyday. Like I said, the CREATIVE JUICES must be kept flowing. And whats so creative about pics that run amuck the net more often than Bush being on the news. All that keeps flowing is drool. And so, a special thanks yous to flickr.com (I love that site, can you tell I love that site?) for giving me a chance to see these pics below. They are post in my favorites portion of that site.






tomorrow .. tomorrow I promise, there will be pics of men. We kept the creative juices flowing today, and so tomorrow we'll keep the drool flowin.

turning the page .....

turning the page.CNFSNAL.wav
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Page by page I continue this new story I started just months ago; not fully knowing what the story is about nor where its headed. Nevertheless I continue to read. And with every character introduced and revisited, I still try to grasp at whats going on and why. I try to comprehend the entire framework being introduced before me but to no avail. Both aspects are still very vague to me. For I'm still walking alone in the woods of mystery and discovery with nothing discovered and everything still mystiified.

Nothing is making sense. And with each new page and each new character, the fact of not knowing what or whom or even why leaves everything I've just consumed without any value or rhyme or reason. Not knowing anything makes everything "just there".

Its like I'm finding a lonely watch in an earthly field.
Its far too complex to be coincidence; the lonely watch is too constructed with detail to be of earthly design. No, it was left be someone; created by someone and I just stumbled upon it. Yet, I don't know who or why. For I, just like the watch am in the field. No evidence exists to help me find discovery. But its too coincidental, too constructed for it all to be left by chance. No, there is something else.

And so I continue to read, in hopes that the next chapter will explain all. I turn each new page with curiousity and need. I turn the page because I have to. I turn the page ....

Want, but can't ...

Here at two youtube vids which showcase that which I really want for myself, right here, right at this moment. However, money, and lack of resources does not permit me to do so (one, I just can't seem to self teach).

Heart O The City

A rant .. aboot movies

Yesterday, I stayed home. WOO HOO! (caked with sarcasm) But it was good actually, just chillin with the tv on, cooking Kraft Dinner with meat and imitation mashed potatoes (not in school no more but I still live the student diet, gotta love it). It was nice, peaceful, relaxing. It felt good.

Until I decided to watch a movie. Well, actually a friend came over and decided to bring a movie with him. And being the nice guy that I am, I let him watch it. Besides, I already seen my thursday fave's anyways, Smallville (rerun), Supernatural (rerun), and Will & Grace (fresh: with a gorgeous cowboy to co-star *drool*). So why not watch a movie, I figured. Until he showed me which one. My heart sank as I realised Its going to be a boring couple of hours. But, I painted a smile on my face and did my best to pretend enthusiasm. Ever see an empty bag dancing in the wind. Upon looking at it its kind of fun to watch; a "most beautiful thing I've ever seen" moment [kudos to those who know what I'm referring to]. That is, until you realise its just an empty bag. I looks full, but in reality there's nothing in it. Well, I was the empty bag. But, he's never seen it and loves horror movies. Hence the facade.

I'm not particularly fond of The Ring Two. It was actually very bad if you ask me ... great stylized cinematography, but not enough story line to hold my attention. I think the director focused too much on the cinematography. As great as it was incorporating the foreground, middleground and background in one steady shot (as oriental directors tend to do), it rubbed off as long=winded for there wasn't a solid enough, compelling story in place. And so, sitting through hours of it ... very tiresome.

Honestly, good thing the roommate got home early. Neither of them watched it, so when I fell asleep on the couch, I didn't feel bad. Nor did I feel bad when I got up off hte couch, and moved to the bedroom (bed is alot comfier than the couch).

And you know, its almost as bad UltraViolet (very very very bad, poor poor Mila Jovovich).

WORST MOVIES EVER: (in no particular order)
1. The Ring Two
2. UltraViolet
3. Home Alone 3
4. .... meh, I'll finish the list later .. am in no mood to countdown the shitty list of movies (and there's a few)

Somewhat Nostalgic

Kill Bill fight scene with Super Marios Bro's sound effects.

F.F.: Football

*** ok, this post was scheduled for publication tomorrow ... but I just couldn't wait. I mean come on .. its footall.

I know I know, the F.F. Series has been rather non-existant as of late; my excuse ... Writers Block. Nothing has been happening as of late. And I mean nothing, therefore, no sense of inspiration. And I mean none. No inspiration means mediocre posts which means .... well, becoming 'one of the flock' so to speak.

But .. on tuesday .. Random surfing has lead me to various pics and clips about FOOTBALL. Hhmmmmm, football *drool*. I love football, everything from game plays to jocks in gear. I love everything about it. I mean, whats not to love when there is a literal meaning behind the terms suchs as "tigh ends" and "wide receivers", and my personal favorite, "Pigskin"? Enjoy!





Thanks to 'Tanworkboots' from Flickr.com for displaying the posted pics.

BLOGROLL UPDATED ... WOO HOO

Time to add to my blogroll yet again. You know, I haven't really surfed the net as of late. I mean, there's the WORLD WIDE WEB, and my lately my visited site consist of those in my blog roll. So, I've decided to get click happy and click away at the mouse from link to link. BrettCajun and The Short Bus are what I found. I stumbled on them, I liked them (and wouldn't you know, I'm also linked on one of them) so I added them. And now, here are some exerpts from tgheir sites, or pics, or videos that I think you'll find interesting from their sites. I DO NOT CLAIM CREDIT FOR THE FOLLOWING!

BrettCajun
Check out the Jiggy Dance. And you think you got skills ....

The Short Bus
" .... And the signs of spring were popping up all over on the road today. Yes the DOT signs for road construction. Complete with reduce your spees, flashing signs reading "Road work to begin on blah, blah, blah" and of course the reduce a two lane road to one with orange cones and drums. Looks like Spring is here."

Bang Bang Brasil
Written in Spanish ... or Portugese, therefore I haven't foggiest in what they talking about. But nevertheless, great pics. Such as ....

CaperBoi (I was linked over at their site, if I recall, but am not no more, oh well ... still a good site with funny utubes)
Lets just say, he's a Utube.com junkie .... and I LOVE IT!


TAA DAA ... blogroll updated.

X-3: Judgement Revisited

Okay, upon seeing the initial publicity stills for X-Men 3 when they first appeared across the net, I was rather hesitant. I must admit, what the stills portrayed (to me anyways) was a rather weak rendition of a comic book coming to life. For me, its stirred up the fear that another great movie with turn into a hoe'key, weak, poorly constructed waste of time. That was my intial reaction. (linked in headline)

But now, after seeing the 2nd trailer via apple.com/trailers ... WOW. Talk about emotion driven work. I felt like a kid again. Its the kind of trailer that gave me goose bumps; it had me wanting to see more. And what I'm totally psyched about is that Storm gets a bigger role in this one, her and Colosuss. YAY!!!!

And not to mention, the follow movie posters that can be found via Brent Ranters site (can't remember the url address, but if you pull detective mode and stroll onto 20sumthing [linked at right[], you should be able to find it peanuts).

Damn, can't wait.

Why must I endure ....

Why must I feel like a victim? Why must I be treated like a victim? Better yet, why must I ALLOW my own victimization to continue to exist? Case in reference to my friends. I'm a victim of biased, prejudicial jokes that are meant to be just jokes but in turn end up being demoralizing and in turn destroys my own self-image.

As mentioned a few times before, I'm native. So not only am I different from society by being gay ... No no no, I'm not just a minority. I'm a minority within a minority living in society. Yes, I'm of different race AND gay. I'm native. And I love being Native. I love knowing the significance of the Eagle to my people. I love being apart of Sweats and Sundances and the drumming of the traditional drum. Thats me, thats who I am. I love being brown (even though I know I look like a white native person [fair skinned]).

Yet, why am I a victim? Demoralizing jokes that seem to only focus on native alcoholism directed toward me. Even those who don't know me, crack jokes about it, in an attempt to 'get on my goodside'. *rolls eyes* riiiiite.

BTW, Yes, I'm an alcoholic, I do drink. Sometimes I go overboard which i do feel bad about .... I DO NOT need a joke to feel good about it.

But, as a person, as an individual belonging to a group of people I allow it to slide. For its never meant to hurt, even though it does. Over and over and over again. And nowadays I can sense their curiousity as to why I don't hang with them.

A friend once cracked a "native + alcoholism" joke directed toward me and as per usual, I let it slide. However, what opened my eyes as to what was happening was that my roommate (my current) happened to be there too, and he was more disgusted and angry at the fact that a so-called friend would say such a thing than I was. I just figured "meh, he's dumb and an idiot."

And now I feel, the more "jokes" I endure not only at my expense but also at the exspense of my people, the more trust I lose in my friends which also turns up my guard on everyone else. So if I allow this to continue ... I lose. Once again, why I do allow this to happen?


**** **** **** **** ****
Interesting Tid-Bit

I Googled the world "demoralizing" for images, and the following was the 2nd pic that came up.

Story is about ....

Love. How universal it seems to be. The subject of love can be found in all media forms, books, magazines, TV, cinema, radio, music. The subject of love is so universal that if used properly it can be considered a classic. Just look at Romeo and Juliet, Pride and Prejudice, and __________. However, the subject of love that is so clearly evident in all literature, I find, is also biased.

The perception of, the perceived attitudes of love, I find, are one-sided. Its all in the perspective of he/she who is in love.

... I know, I'm actually sounding like one who is against love; when in fact, that is not the case at all. What I'm merely trying to get at is I, myself, have never been in the shoes of one who is in love. And I mean the they're-in-my-dreams, I-can't-think-of-anyone-else, I-cry-over-them kind of love.

When I look back at the ex, I see a deep appreciation for the man. An appreciation for him wanting to know me, wanting to see me happy, wanting to be with me; wanting everything for me that I never thought cI would ever feel from someone else. An appreciation for helping me not feel alone. (which sadly I had to realise after we were together and after we split apart) But at the same time I remember when with him thinking "I can live without him." And when I look at all my friends, both present and previous, that is a thought I've always come too. "I can live without them."

And now because of this once innocent thought I'm caught in a bind. Can I love? Am I capable of falling love? Am I physically able to let someone in? Of course, all this thinking leads me to another thought. One I'm afraid to confront, let alone answer: Am I 'willing' to love?

Its all very hard to say. For when I look around, I find myself very picky even when it comes to the 'sex' front.

..... *silence* ...... *deep thought* .......

Love. What is it?

Movies and books and all stories about love; friends and family who tell me they love their significant other; I'm envious. For I've never felt those feelings for anyone. And I don't know if I ever will. For me, its easy to be alone. To fall asleep in an empty bed. To wake up alone and make breakfast for one. Its what I'm used too.

Excuse the incoherence of this post, its merely a "thinking out loud" bit.

Brave Creatures

*sigh* I don't really have anything to post nowadays. Am I in a rut? Not necessarily, its just that nothing is happening. I go to work, go home, party one night and back to work the next day. Blah blah blah blah .... *sigh* my life have become so exciting lately (loaded thick with sarcasm).

So, might as well do a Linkage Update.

BRAVE CREATURES
As my regular readers may have noticed, BraveCreatures on the side bar as just been added recently. We actually met each other using "Flickr.com", for he commented that many pics I post over there are pics of men he's actually had the pleasure of meeting in real life. Lucky guy, isn't he? Lets put it this way, most pics I post here I obtain from there. (NONE of my pics, say for the Europe ones in the flickr badge on this blog, I can actually take credit for) I also happen to post of sexy pic of someone he's "kinda sorta" seeing at the moment too. Small world, huh? Nevertheless, his site is a great read. And its not just a blog as this one here is, his is an actual website. Numerous links and well organised, great personal pics which slowly reveal what a great guy his is. Not to mention he's cute and very adorable. Ya can't help but drool and imagine every possible dirty deed yer mind can conceive to do to this guy. *gets lost in thought*

And you know what I just realised, he had mentioned that he would add me to his blogroll .. and NADDA. Hmmmm. Oh well, I still love his blog/site. And besides, I don't add to my blogroll with secret desires that whomever I've linked will link me too. I just want to share my daily reads. And BraveCreatures, is a daily read.

---- More updates to come .....

"After He Left"

Found this pic over at Flickr.com, and I for the life of me cannot remember who it is from. I repeated it twice in my head, wrote down the name and URL of where I stumbled on it ... AND LOST IT. I love this pic and I want to desperately to pass on the credit for whom it is due, but cannot at this moment. And so, I feel like an ass. Oh well .. when I remember it, or if I find the lil piece o paper I somehow lost, I'll pass it on here.

But just look at this pic. Isn't it great. The colour, the positioning over everything captured, the ambiance, just the overall feeling of the entirety of this pic is AWESOME. Its entitled "After He Left", and I just wish I can get a print of it. I WISH!

Someday, I'll be able to take pics as such. For now, this will just be an inspiration to get off my butt and get in motion.

Most Interesting Part Two

Continuation. Top Five pics labeled at Most Interesting at my Flickr.com account.

#5

#4

#3 (and he appears again ..... woof!)

#2

And the #1 picture that the goold fellows at Flickr.com labeled as most interesting ... *drumroll please* (SCREW this cheesy crap, I'll just show the pic ... )
#1

Most Interesting

This should be interesting. Starting from number ten.
#10

#9

#8

#7

#6

Most Commented

The following are the most commented. However, in this catergory there seems to be many ties without just one picture coming out on top.

The comments were as follows for these posted pics:
"Sexy man"
"Hottie"
"Very sexy"
"Just lie back, relax, and breathe deeply. This may cause some temporary discomfort." (in reference to he lying back)
"I would be his slave anytime"
and my personal favorite .. "I KNOW HIM!."

Tied for First

Also tied for First

Tied for Second

Also tied for second.


Tomorrows category: "Most Interesting"

Most Viewed

Most viewed pics, although I feel I must mention that the measure of "Most Viewed" fluxuates quite frequently.
Viewed 1238 times ....

Viewed 1210 times .....

Viewed 1123 times .....

Viewed 1079 times .....
And this handsome fella is 2 for 0 now ... lets see how his stats build, shall we?