Story is about ....

Love. How universal it seems to be. The subject of love can be found in all media forms, books, magazines, TV, cinema, radio, music. The subject of love is so universal that if used properly it can be considered a classic. Just look at Romeo and Juliet, Pride and Prejudice, and __________. However, the subject of love that is so clearly evident in all literature, I find, is also biased.

The perception of, the perceived attitudes of love, I find, are one-sided. Its all in the perspective of he/she who is in love.

... I know, I'm actually sounding like one who is against love; when in fact, that is not the case at all. What I'm merely trying to get at is I, myself, have never been in the shoes of one who is in love. And I mean the they're-in-my-dreams, I-can't-think-of-anyone-else, I-cry-over-them kind of love.

When I look back at the ex, I see a deep appreciation for the man. An appreciation for him wanting to know me, wanting to see me happy, wanting to be with me; wanting everything for me that I never thought cI would ever feel from someone else. An appreciation for helping me not feel alone. (which sadly I had to realise after we were together and after we split apart) But at the same time I remember when with him thinking "I can live without him." And when I look at all my friends, both present and previous, that is a thought I've always come too. "I can live without them."

And now because of this once innocent thought I'm caught in a bind. Can I love? Am I capable of falling love? Am I physically able to let someone in? Of course, all this thinking leads me to another thought. One I'm afraid to confront, let alone answer: Am I 'willing' to love?

Its all very hard to say. For when I look around, I find myself very picky even when it comes to the 'sex' front.

..... *silence* ...... *deep thought* .......

Love. What is it?

Movies and books and all stories about love; friends and family who tell me they love their significant other; I'm envious. For I've never felt those feelings for anyone. And I don't know if I ever will. For me, its easy to be alone. To fall asleep in an empty bed. To wake up alone and make breakfast for one. Its what I'm used too.

Excuse the incoherence of this post, its merely a "thinking out loud" bit.