and its back ....

Synthesized notes blaring through my ears, emitted by small headphones as I walk down through the corridors connecting downtown Calgary in an attempt to get home. I'm earlier than usual, but this day I needed a break sooner than most. Constant running around, ensuring that everything is taken care of, that everyone is taken care of; thats what I've been doing all morning. Needed time to release, relax.

And so onward I walk as the song flows to its chorus. And suddenly my breathing increases, but no amount of breaths can fill my lungs. Panic ensues as I grab my chest gasping for air. Fear sets in for all I feel is doom. The walls get smaller and start closing in. I close my eyes as passer-by's continue to pass by. The breathing gets faster and faster, and although I can't see them the walls continue to close in. Only one thing to do, go home. Its close enough.

And so I walk at a fast pace, all the while grabbing my chest. I stare onward in my direction, staring at no one else, only forward. For I need to get home. I must get home.

The elevator isn't fast enough as its spins and wobbles. I fumble with my keys trying to get into my apartment. I drop them and pick them up only to drop them again.

I'm inside. But still not where I want to be, where I need to be. Immediately I bolt to my room, passing the roommate on the way; yet I barely notice him.

Finally, in my bed, still wearing my coat, with the covers over my head. Still breathing heavily, almost sweating as I lay there and force sleep. Sleep .... sleep .... sleep.

An hour goes by, and I know it has passed. But lunchtime is over and I go back to work.

Not telling anyone, I sit at my desk and attempt to work. But I can barely type. My hands still shake as words on screen are mumbled and incoherent. I gotta go home. I must go home.

So, I go.